Sermon for September 13, 2026
Pentecost 16 A
Matthew 18:21-35
Rev. Karl-John N. Stone
Two months ago in New York City, the NYPD Police Academy was renamed in honor of Detective Steven McDonald. Why did they rename it in his honor? In July 1986, Detective McDonald was patrolling Central Park when he approached a group of teenagers and asked them, “Why are you in the park today?”. That’s when he noticed one boy’s pant leg was bulging in a way that might be hiding a gun. He bent down to investigate, and the next thing he knew, he had been shot three times by another boy. Steven spent the next 18 months in the hospital, and the next 31 years paralyzed (until he died in 2017). If there was a person who had a right to feel bitterness and pain, or demand revenge, it was Steven McDonald. And he did feel that way.
These are his words about what happened next: “About six months after I was shot, Patti Ann gave birth to a baby boy. We named him Conor. To me, Conor’s birth was like a message from God that I should live, and live differently. And it was clear to me that I had to respond to that message. I prayed that I would be changed… That prayer was answered with a desire to forgive the young man who shot me. I wanted to free myself of all the negative, destructive emotions that his act of violence had unleashed in me: anger, bitterness, hatred, and other feelings. I needed to free myself of those emotions so that I could love my wife and our child and those around us… I forgave Shavod because I believe the only thing worse than receiving a bullet in my spine would have been to nurture revenge in my heart. Such an attitude would have extended my injury to my soul, hurting my wife, son, and others even more… Of course, I didn’t forgive Shavod right away. It took time…I think about it almost every day. But I can say this: I’ve never regretted forgiving him.” [Quotations from Why Forgive? By Johann Christoph Arnold, pp. 183, 184, 187, 188]
Stories like this, of extraordinary forgiveness, can’t help but make us wonder, “If I were in his shoes, would I be able to forgive like that? Would I even want to?” But even though most examples of forgiveness are nowhere near as dramatic as Steven McDonald’s, the Lord knows that we need the power of forgiveness in our own lives. The parable Jesus told in Matthew 18, which we heard today, shows us how vital forgiveness is to our well-being and happiness. And Jesus makes the details so exaggerated because he wants to make the meaning clear.
The first slave owes his king 10,000 talents. A “talent” was a unit of money in the ancient world equivalent to 6,000 days’ wages. One talent was as much money as you could earn in 15 years. That makes 10,000 talents equal to 150,000 years of wages! The point is clear—he could never possibly repay a debt so large. Even his prayer is desperate, bordering on delusional: “Have patience with me and I will pay you everything.” But he knows it’s impossible. The debt is too large. The only way out is to be forgiven. And that’s what happens: “Out of pity for him, the king released him and forgave the debt.”
Unlike Peter and the other disciples, we have the benefit of knowing ahead of time that Jesus is talking about his own sacrifice on the cross. There he takes the sins and evil of the world upon himself—and into God’s very being—in order to forgive; to open up a chance for all humanity to live lives that are free of anger, bitterness, hatred, or desire for revenge. The cross is Christ’s message that forgiveness is at the very heart of God; even the pathway to God. What a priceless gift!
As the parable continues, Jesus shows us the consequences of failing to grab onto that priceless gift. The forgiven slave meets a fellow servant who owes him a significant—but much smaller—debt than the one he was just released from. This is the part where we start to anticipate what should happen: “Oh! He’ll go ahead and forgive the smaller debt. That’s obviously how this is supposed to work.” But the story takes a turn. Rather than forgiving, he throws the guy into prison, even ignoring the same plea he had just made to the king: “Have patience with me and I will pay you.” When word gets back to the king, he makes the lesson crystal clear: “ ‘You should have had mercy on the other guy, just as I had mercy on you.’ And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt.”
Jesus has much to teach us about forgiveness in this parable. Here are two key points. Point One) Forgiveness requires patience. That’s because forgiveness is a process. And the greater the harm caused by the offense, the longer the process of forgiveness is likely to take, and the more patience you will need until the healing power of forgiveness feels real. We need patience because forgiveness is more than a one-and-done deal—it is a lifestyle; something that takes time to grow into over the course of days and years. And the more you practice it, the easier it gets—but that doesn’t mean that it’s always going to be easy. Sometimes you won’t be able to forgive. Some situations you might feel so stuck in that it’s almost like holding onto your pain becomes who you are—which keeps hurting you more and more.
In that case, keeping in mind the need for patience, the best you can do might be to start praying that someday you might be able to forgive. Or that someday and somehow, you might even want to forgive, even if you don’t want to right now. And another part of this process is asking God for forgiveness for yourself; that’s because forgiveness is like any other kind of gift—you can’t give it to someone else, if you don’t first possess it yourself.
Point Two) Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, it requires remembrance. In the parable, the first slave seems to forget about the gift he’s received. And because he forgets, he ends up right back where he started: being tortured under the weight of a problem he can’t remove. We need to remember the things we’ve forgiven or been forgiven from, because it helps us gain strength of character—we can see how much the Holy Spirit has helped us grow in living our faith. Those who are strongest in Christ are the ones who rely on him the most for help in letting go of the wounds and wrongs of life. Letting go and forgiving is like breathing the carbon dioxide out of your lungs, so that the fresh oxygen can fill them—and that makes you stronger, and better able to build good things for your life and for the lives of the people you love.
Going back to the example of Steven McDonald, he and his family never forgot. How could they? The reminders of what was taken from them were ever present. His wife Patti Ann puts it like this: “It’s been hard, very hard, for me to really forgive the boy that shot Steven… But I learned long ago that in order for us to get along as a couple, I had to let go of my anger. Otherwise Steven and I wouldn’t have been able to go on ourselves. Because when something like that festers inside of you, it just destroys you from the inside out.” Forgiveness is what enabled Steven and Patti Ann to save their own love for each other, and to keep growing stronger in their relationship. It also allowed them to build a loving foundation for raising their son, instead of surrounding him with pain and bitterness, and passing their wounds to him.
So, forgiveness requires patience—it’s a process of gaining the desire and ability to give or receive forgiveness. And forgiveness requires remembrance—so that you can grow strong in having Christ help you become free: free to be healed, and free to build a better life. Amen.